Reflecting for the best you: Be a Star

What's stopping you from being a star?

There are a range of tools that we use in career and personal development, to be better in our careers, roles and lives.

Do you talk yourself out of where you want to be?

Often, we're our own worst enemies when trying to decide which direction or decisions that we should take.

Here's some weak spots that could be holding you back, and solutions:

Have you spent time reflecting?

If no then it may be worthwhile making some time and finding some space to do this. If you've not reflected then it's likely you haven't set a clear vision. Our ERSI article might be useful to you.

Do you genuinely have the skills that you need?

Sometimes we unconsciously hold ourselves back for good reason. If we don't have the skills needed then how might you go about addressing that? To be the star you want to be. The emphasis here though is on need - don't let a lack of desirable or non-essential skills stop you moving in the direction you want.

Too much negative talk?

Do you talk yourself down regularly? If this is your weak spot then you could try writing down your negative messages and then flipping them. 'I'm not good at limiting time with clients' becomes 'I provide a quality, personal experience'.

Do you lack accountability?

For years I've had some great gym equipment that's gone under-used. 'I just don't have the time I told myself'. Then on a holiday I found myself twiddling my thumbs, finding something to do... I didn't use the gym equipment. I learned that although I blamed 'time' for years, the problem was not time - I'd used time as an excuse. Do you blame other people or factors?

AMO can be good to appraise yourself in this situation - Ability - Motivation - Opportunity. The three aspects form a pretty good three-legged stool to take accountability. Are you able to exercise today? Are you motivated? Do you have the opportunity (a break from work)? Realising that the weak link (or leg in the stool metaphor) is your motivation might be an awakening.

Have you defined your own version of success?

Have you ever compared your home, business or family life to someones carefully curated life on social media? It's all too easy to lose sight of what our own version of success looks like. To overcome, think about what you want and what you don't want, explore the aspects of your life you enjoy currently and recognise where you might need support to maintain these (or give a little to find a balance between your current and desired state). For instance, Jane is a wellness coach and follows an online influencer who is also a wellness coach. Jane feels a failure that she hasn't 1 million followers despite putting a lot of effort in to her work. This makes Jane feel like she should give up. But, Jane is happy with her income and the flexibility her business affords her, she's grateful she can take her children to school. Jane helps dozens of people through her work. So why has Jane defined success by 1 million social media followers? Jane needs to define her own success criteria.

What's holding you back?